Soul PB&J • How To Spend Time with God

I have always loved to write, whether it was poetry, songs, or whatever I could think of at the time. A notebook was my favorite gift growing up. Something about a fresh new notebook, a blank canvas for me to put whatever I want on it, has always appealed to me, so when I decided to make it a daily goal to spend time focusing on God, writing and notebooks were included.

However, it didn’t start that way, because to be honest, I was too deeply depressed to even attempt to write...it was too much to do (Yes, I was so depressed at one time that pulling out a notebook to write in it felt like too much for me!). Anyways, my point is that as the intensity of my depression began to fade, the way I spent time focusing on God grew and evolved, and eventually, it included writing in notebooks (the very thing that I have always loved to do).

I believe every person’s relationship with God will be as unique and distinctive as we each are as individuals; it looks different for everyone, and I think that’s what makes it beautiful. Of course, there may be similarities, but our unique individuality will remain. For instance, I have a prayer notebook, and you may have a prayer notebook too, but what we write, the way we write, the types of notebooks or pens we use—all of these things will vary, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

There’s no right way to spend time with God, and no one’s relationship will be the same. Think about the relationship you have with your friends, children, parents, grandparents, coworkers, etc., even if you like, care about, or love them equally, the relationship is not the same; they vary and are unique to the people involved. The important thing about having a relationship with God and spending time with Him is that we have it, not what it looks like.

I pray that God helps you to find an intimate way to incorporate Him in whatever it is that you like or love to do because He loves spending time with you, and He loves being involved in what you love to do. If you love to draw, paint, or color, find some time to do that thing with God. Paint a picture for God. Draw a picture for God. Color that art piece for God. Let your thoughts, feelings, and words come out in the form of your art. If you love poetry, write a poem for God. Read poetry about God and meditate on those words about Him. David wrote many psalms to God, pouring out his heart to Him. If you love music, listen to music that sets your mind on God, or if you create music, create music for God. Sing to God. Rap to God. Dance for God. Write to God. Read to God. Create for God. Cook for God. Sew for God. Run for God. Swim to God. Whatever it is, take some time in your day to dedicate to Him and do it in a way that you can genuinely look forward to.

I promise that whatever you love to do will become that much MORE special when you do. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit knows and understands us so much more than we, ourselves, do, and the Spirit intercedes for us through wordless groans (Romans 8:26 NIV). You don’t need to know what to say or what to do. Just show up. Just turn to Him. The Spirit knows what to do.

Part of my daily routine with God, what my little sister so lovingly calls her “soul alignment” (By the way, isn’t that the cutest, most perfect way to describe it?), is to write a prayer to God and to journal out my feelings to Him as well. I journal my hopes, worries, fears, goals, circumstances, and whatever is on my heart at the time. As my notebooks have filled up over the years, I started rereading my old prayer books and journals as part of my daily routine as well.

I have to be honest and admit that the idea of reading some of the crazy things I have thought and felt made me cringe (this was the main reason I was so hesitant to write them down in the first place), but I’ve come to realize that reading them has really helped me, and my hope is that sharing them with you will help you too. There’s a vulnerability, honesty, and authenticity in them that I hope can make you feel less alone in whatever you’re going through. Though our experiences won’t exactly be the same, I hope that whatever we do share, whether thoughts, feelings, insecurities, fears, worries, etc., can make you feel less alone and inspire you to share your everything with your ABBA too.

This is my soul PB&J (sorry, it’s not quite the amazing peanut butter and jelly sandwich that you may have been hoping for; although, I do believe that just like peanut butter & jelly, these things work splendidly together) ----my prayers, favorite Bible verses, and journal entries. They have, and continue to, feed and grow my soul, and I pray they can become a light meal/snack to help feed and grow yours too. Cheers! Here’s to being vulnerable. I pray my vulnerability can embolden you to unleash the vulnerable, authentic version of you. God already knows your truth, whatever that truth may be, but He asks you to embark on this journey of life with Him because your truth has the power to set you, and those connected to you, free. I pray this process empowers you the way it continues to grow and empower me. Thank you for taking this journey with me.

Prayer

God,

​I love You. Thank You for loving me first. For never givingup on me and for not allowing me to settle for less than what you have for me. Thank You for teaching me & changing me. Grow my heart & my love, God. Help me to live in wisdom, obedience, submission, love, peace, humbleness, and strength. Help me to be light; to be salt; to be love. Help me to be joyous. Rid me of my flesh and of everything unlike You.

In Jesus Name, I pray, Amen!

Journal

(This is a letter I wrote to me)

Crystal,

​I’m deeply sorry for the way that I’ve treated you throughout your life. I’m sorry for all the pain that I’ve caused you and for always making you feel like you weren’t good enough or lacking in ways. I’m sorry that I kept you fixated on the negative instead of the positive, and I’m sorry I always made you believe that everything was your fault. There are so many things I wish I could change about your life, and there’s so many things that I would do different. I wish I could go back to when you were just a little girl and tell you how special you are. I would tell you how you are loved and that you deserve to be loved and treated with kindness and respect. I would tell you how you deserve to be supported, understood, and accepted by the people in your life. I would never let you settle for anything less than what you deserve, and I would make sure that you understood and knew without a shadow of a doubt that any person who treated you poorly didn’t do so because of something you had done or because something was wrong with you or not good enough about you, but because of something wrong within themselves. I wouldn’t have let you spend your whole life questioning your value and worth because of the love you weren’t given by those who don’t even know how to love themselves. I would have ensured you knew how to love you because you are worth loving. I know it’s so hard for you to accept the good things about yourself. I know you see nothing but flaws and problems when you look at yourself, and I know when someone treats you well that you don’t understand why; and when someone treats you bad that it makes perfect sense, but all of that is wrong. You wouldn’t treat your worst enemy the way you treat yourself. I need you to look at yourself and start believing that you are special. You’re beautiful, smart, kind, and loving. You’re strong and determined, and you have a great heart. Stop believing that you’re a burden and just something to be used up, thrown away, and forgotten, and start realizing how unbelievably precious you are. I love you. I’m proud of you, and I’m happy to be you. You are loved. Please never forget that,always remember that, and live your life like it deserves to be lived. You deserve nothing less.

​​​Love,

​​​ Crystal.

Bible Verses

Romans 8:26-30 (NIV)

​In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called; He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.

Psalms 142: 1-6 (NIV)

​I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out before Him my complaint; before Him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way. In the path where I walk people have hidden a snare for me. Look and see, there is no one at my right hand; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life. I cry to you, Lord; I say, “You are my refuge; my portion in the land of the living.” Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me. Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.

Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

​Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.

Written by Crystal Bryan