4 IMPORTANT WAYS TO TACKLE POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION

Hi there!

I am so happy you’re here. If this blog post intrigued you, then you might be a soon-to-be mama, or you may be finding yourself in the thick of motherhood right now. I remember when I found out I was pregnant and after the initial shock set in I WAS THRILLED. I was going to have a little best friend who would love me forever, i could dress cute, and we would be like two peas in a pod. While all of that is true there is also a side to motherhood that social media overlooks. Once you’ve left the hospital and you are left alone with your baby for the first time it is scary. How do you take care of it? Why is it crying? Am I doing something wrong? Did I break it? Is there an off button?

Trust me mama, we have all been there.

The nights where you are so fresh in this new world of being called “mom” and it seems like the days just consisted of milk stained shirts and both you AND the baby crying in your diapers. I feel you. I was so madly in love with my baby that it wasn’t until he was around 9 months old that I realized I was battling postpartum depression and anxiety.

Now let me be very clear: there are many different levels of depression and anxiety.

It is not one size fits all and there is no magic pill. My experience can be night and day different from yours. And the point of this post is not to find someone who has the same exact postpartum experience as you. No, it’s about finding other mothers who are open about their struggles, their love for their baby, their need for sleep and their desires to sometimes get away from their baby. Once my son was sleeping through the night and we had stopped breastfeeding, I was finally getting back into the groove of being a w o m a n.

For so long I just felt like a waking cafeteria for my son. I literally forgot how to do things for me and how to take care of myself. It wasn’t until I started feeling joy with myself that I realized I was struggling a lot more than I thought I was. Don’t get me wrong, there were moments my husband would get home from work and both me and my son were crying and I would sob in his arms telling him how I’m such a bad mom. I don’t know what I’m doing. I make so many mistakes. I can’t get his nap schedule down. Sometimes I would lay him down when he cried because I just needed a breather.

Of course my sweet husband looks at me with the most kind eyes and reassures me that I’m a wonderful mom and the fact that I even hold myself at such a high standard proves how amazing of a mother I am.

The best way to deal with postpartum depression and anxiety is to:

1. Acknowledge it. Ask for help. Let someone watch your baby while you shower. Just because you can carry the weight of the world on your shoulders does not mean that you should.

2. Talk to other moms. I think the reason nobody talks about PP depression and anxiety is because it’s so taboo. The only reason for that is, because we don’t talk about it! Do you see the problem? When we pretend to be ok and have it all together, other moms feel obligated to do the same. Then we all end up suffering in silence. Who knows, the mom at the grocery store all dolled up with her baby in the cart might be having an awful day just like you. Say hi. Exchange a smile and a few words. Who knows how bad she may need someone.

3. Take a break. It wasn’t until I started asking for space and alone time did I start to heal. We all want to be the best mothers to our babies. God chose us for our children for a reason. Whether those children came to you by blood, adoption, foster care, or some other divine intervention. GOD CHOSE YOU. If the creator of all things thought that you were worthy enough to raise a child of His kingdom, shouldn’t we trust Him? Don’t you think that He sees something is us that we don’t see in ourselves …yet!

4. Build a community. Find friends who are kind, loving, open, and most importantly, honest! If everyone was open about their mom-fails, sleepless nights, accidental mistakes and chapped nipples then none of it would seem weird. We would just nod and understand and offer support.

Motherhood is HARD. No matter your age or status. It is hard.

I never in a million years thought that I, a young girl who is so happy and full of life, would suffer from postpartum depression. I remember when there were talks happening and my doctor was considering putting me on anti-depressants and, for me personally, I did not want that. So I told her I wanted to try some tactics myself, and if i don’t get any better, I will take the meds. I started working out, eating healthy, taking baths again (alone), and praying fiercely that God would help me see these blessings before me and help me to treasure them.

My depression didn't look like the ones you see on commercials where they are hiding behind a fake smile and secretly sad. I was openly sad with my husband. My depression looked something like this: I would look at my son bursting with joy. My love for him runs deeper than the ocean. But sometimes there were days when I felt like such a failure. Like I wasn’t supposed to be here. Not yet. I would tell myself I’m too young. I don’t know what I’m doing. I barley even changed diapers before my son was born! How was I supposed to keep this human alive all by myself ?

And sister let me tell you, that’s the devil talking. I had to face these thoughts head on. YES I made mistakes and I still do, but just like we all do, we live and we learn. To the mothers reading this: you are strong, beautiful, capable and CHOSEN. When these moments of doubt creep in your mind and you feel overcome with sadness, it’s ok to acknowledge these feeling, but do not let them make a home in your heart. Cry, scream, have your moments of emotions and feel them all. I promise you, you are still a good mother.

This post isn’t meant to treat depression. It’s meant to tell you that it does get better. Each day gets easier, you get stronger. You learn your baby and your baby learns you. You are exactly what that tiny miracle needs. I now that when you are a new mother and those baby blues catch up to you it seems like you may never recover. But remember that there we’re probably times in the past where you thought you would never get through an obstacle and you did. You can out of the other side stronger and wiser. We are incredible beings, us mothers. Our love runs so deep for our children that we often times neglect ourselves.

Remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup and if you’re not taking care of you, who is?

A part of my “me time” I have incorporated into my life is a wonderful devotional book that has changed my life. It is interactive and shows us how to be courageous. Spending time in the word everyday helps shape your mind which changes your attitude. At the bottom of this page you will find a link of all of my favorite self-care items, books, and tools that helped me navigate my PP depression + anxiety.

Mothers, you are allowed to feel big emotions and you are still worthy. I hope the biggest point you take from this is that we have all been there but often times don’t show it. I want to normalize the baby blues and talk about it because it is OK. It is normal and it is only a season. And remember, you are doing an amazing job.

http://liketk.it/3j5ui Written by Hannah Grenz

Instagram: @mrs.grenz

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