Growing Pains | Women in the Bible Part 1: A Look at Leah

​I remember growing pains like they were yesterday.

It would feel like a sudden, shooting pain had crept into my leg. It seemed like nothing could help and nothing would make it go away. I remember crying, taking pain reliever, and climbing into a warm bathtub, praying for the pain to go away. Man, those things hurt! They were usually gone after a few hours, but their residue stained my memory.

After experiencing these growing pains a few times throughout my life, they became easier to deal with. Not because they hurt any less; that, certainly, was not the case! I think it got easier because I knew what to expect. I knew a few things that I could do to comfort myself and try to lessen the pain. I knew the pain would not last forever. I just had to hold on a little longer, and eventually, the pain would subside.

​ When I look at Leah in the Bible, I think of growing pains. Except the kind of growing pains that Leah went through are some of the worst kinds to go through: Emotional growing pain; now, that hurts!

Leah was the eldest daughter of Laban, and the Bible describes her as being “weak in the eyes,” but says that her younger sister, Rachel, was “beautiful” and “lovely in form.” It was the custom of that time that the eldest daughter be given in marriage first, so when Jacob, the son of Isaac and Rebekah, arrived in Paddan Aram to stay with them, I imagine that both Laban and Leah felt a glimmer of hope that he would take Leah’s hand in marriage. However, Jacob had fallen in love with Rachel.

When he was asked what his wages should be for working under Laban, he answered, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” I imagine a wave of disappointment fell over Laban and Leah when they heard Jacob’s request, and yet, Laban agreed to it. When it came time for Rachel to be given to Jacob, however, Laban tricked Jacob and gave him Leah instead.

-Pause. This guy worked SEVEN YEARS to be with this woman. Learn from Jacob’s determination ladies, don’t settle for less. - Understandably, Jacob was outraged by Laban’s deception, so Laban offered Rachel to Jacob for an additional seven years of work, which Jacob agreed to.

​ At this point in the story, Jacob has two wives, Leah and Rachel, but he only loves one. I can only imagine the feelings of insecurity, unworthiness, and pain this whole ordeal must have caused Leah. She had to deal with the reality that the only way her father believed she could get married was through deception. She had to deal with the fact that Jacob was willing to work a whole fourteen years to marry her younger sister, Rachel, but had to be tricked into marrying her. Despite all of the pain this situation must have caused Leah, she tried to make Jacob happy, and she tried to make Jacob love her.

The Bible says that “When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, ‘It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.’” This breaks my heart for Leah. She was trying to earn Jacob’s love. She thought, “If I’m good enough, then he’ll love me.” Her attempts for love did not stop there. The Bible says, “She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, ‘Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.’ So she named him Simeon.” When that didn’t work, stubborn as we can be as women, she tried again. “Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, ‘Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.’ So he was named Levi.”

Three sons later, and Leah was still not loved by Jacob. I imagine the emotional toll this must have had on Leah, and my heart breaks for her. Being pregnant and giving birth on three different occasions while hoping all along that “this time will be different,” “this time I will be loved” is a pain I wish that no woman had to endure, but Leah didn’t allow the pain of her experiences to have the final say over her life. With each experience, Leah got stronger, and she became wiser. The Bible says that “She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, ‘This time I will praise the Lord.’ So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.” Leah learned that her hope for love and acceptance did not belong to Jacob, but it belonged to God.

Throughout every experience that Leah had, God was blessing her, God was loving her, God had already accepted her, and God was using her as a part of His much bigger plan. Of course, Leah did not know that. She could not see God’s vision for her life or for the generations to come. Leah didn’t know that it would be from her son Judah’s ancestral line that our Savior, Jesus, would be born, but God did. God loved and cared for Leah. He was with her through every moment of pain, rejection, and heartbreak that she felt, and even though God didn’t give her what she “thought” she needed to be happy (the love of Jacob), He gave her something so much better! He gave her His love, His care, His blessings, four beautiful sons, and a prominent place in the Bible as the mother of Judah, the ancestor of Jesus Himself!

​ If I’m HOT (honest, open, and transparent), I can relate to Leah a lot. There have been many times in my life where I believed I wasn’t loveable and tried to earn someone’s love. I’ve thought, “If I was prettier,” “If I was skinnier,” “If I was more accomplished,” “If I had more going for myself,” “If I was sexier,” “If I did the things they wanted,” “If I made their lives easier/better/etc.” then, maybe, they would love me. Like Leah, I learned that you can’t earn someone’s love. It is or it isn’t.

Think about it, when you have a child, there is literally nothing that they do to earn your love; it just is. Your brothers, your sisters, your parents, your grandparents, your family, your friends; they don’t earn your love; you just love them. Granted, they may do things that you don’t like from time to time, but you love them anyways.

Thankfully, God’s love is so much better than the love of humans. Like Leah, this, too, is a lesson that I’ve had to learn throughout the growing pains of my life. It is because of the experiences that I have had that I know that nothing and no one compares to the Love of God; that I already am loved and accepted; and that God has and will continue to bless and keep me in all things, at all times.

​ If you’re presently going through some of the growing pains of life, whether emotionally or physically, I want to take the time to remind you that God sees you, God loves you, and He cares about your pain; He’s feeling it right along with you, and you are not alone. There is no pain that you endure that God does not have a plan for. God is your comforter, and God is your avenger. Whatever you are experiencing, I pray that you give it to God.

Trust me when I say that I’ve tried it all. I’ve tried every temporary comfort that this world has to offer, and it may comfort, numb, or distract you for the moment, but nothing will comfort you or heal you the way your loving, heavenly Father will. Like growing pains, this will not last forever. Keep holding on just a little bit longer. It gets better. God has a plan for you; “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Call on God. Pray to God. Journal your feelings. Write it all down. Ask God to help you process what you’re feeling and to give you wisdom, strength, and faith. Ask for the stamina you need to make it through this season. God will renew your strength, and He will restore you.

​Psalm 9: 9-10

​“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

​Psalm 62:5-8

​“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”

​1 Peter 5:10

​“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

Written by Crystal Bryan.